Website copy

"brian" <imsmart0@aol.com> wrote in message
news:bkoni20e8c@enews2.newsguy.com...
>
> I have a website which the domain will be advertised in popular
> science magazine in november. I need to know if the website copy has
> clarity, impact, and reasonabe hype.can it be better. What I am asking
> is do you think a technology minded person would be interested in
> buying.
> www.deepredspecialties.com

Hi Brian,

You've been working on the page. Continuous Improvement is the best policy
for every business.

Here's my short list:

1) Have a friend proofread. I noticed several typo's

2) Dump the links to pricing and the warning page and integrate these items
into the order form. Keep the order forms people send to you in case you
ever need to prove that you did warn somebody against doing some sort of
thing with your glasses. (Gee, talk about dangerous territory!)

3) Pictures will peak people's curiosity. For example, you might find some
opaque fabric that is transparent or translucent under IR light. Show
pictures of the fabric both with and without your IR filter that shows how
the fabric becomes see through.

4) Keep working on the IR color scheme. I like where you're going, but you
aren't there yet. The blue/black links look bad on the home page (IMO), and
I have trouble reading the blue links on the FAQ page.

5) Try and get some legal advice if you can. If nothing else, post the URL
to your page on one or more of the legal newsgroups. I'm pretty sure these
things don't meet the legal requirements for sunglasses, much less goggles.
I suggest you mention that these things are for "entertainment purposes
only", or that they are a "novelty item"

** This is a novelty product. Do not use while driving or using heavy
equipment. This product does not provide protection from sunlight, flying
debris, dust mites, cockroaches or low flying aircraft... etc. **

I think its a really cool product! Good luck.

Mike Turco